Dear babies,
There is no such thing as a perfect family I have come to accept that, families fight and argue, some have parents, some have black sheeps others don't talk to each other but at the end of the day everyone gathers around the table and talks bout their day. Maybe they bitch, maybe they complain, maybe they fight but they talk and they listen to each other. This is what I learned today when meeting potential dads, we will call them A and J.
There perfect family is one where they can sit at the dinner table and argue, fight, discuss and go to bed happy . They understand things happen, they know there will be fights, that they will make mistakes and that parenting a child is the hardest thing ever, the biggest responsibility ever ( especially when it's someone else's kid) and mistakes will happen. However at the end of the day they want to come home and be able to sit down to discuss argue and laugh about their day.
Today we met, and they told me their plans. They have had this planned for years.
A and J work, they plan to still work, stating daycare is good for kids. They would want to hire a nanny the first year then off to daycare to socialize meet friends and learn. A is a teacher J is a pediatrician. A and J both have parents who are still together and living close by. they both have siblings, and lots of nieces and nephew, everyone is living close by and excited for them to finalize an adoption. They are half Jewish half Catholic and celebrate all major holidays for each religion. They are big on traditions and family. Sunday night dinners happen weekly as do trips to the mountain house. A and J travel often and can't wait to take their children with them. They live a healthy life style exercising, doing yoga and enjoying the outdoors.
But most of all, they understand me, or they pretend to. They know I come from an addictive family, they know my past, they know what I want my future to be. They know the potential risks you boys face and they know the risks of adoption, they have had two failed placements, they understand my decision and understand I could back out at anytime. They understand I will always be mom, and I like that. I,like that there are two dads, selfishly I don't want you to have another mom, however I'm well aware that this could happen with adoption.
I am going to get lunch with them on Sunday. Right now I just want to get to know them they want to get to know me that is all it is. I don't think I will invite them to drs appointments anytime soon though.
Love mommy
They sound wonderful. I'm following your blog every day now (I saw you on BBC and followed you here). You and your boys are in my thoughts and prayers. It's an unbelievably selfless thing you are doing and even though I don't know you, I feel proud of you for trying to turn your life around and for making all these responsible decisions.
ReplyDeleteI hope this placement works out for you. I pray that your boys will face no complications and you will be able to maintain a nurturing relationship with them, even though they will be adopted - hopefully by these two wonderful, loving men.
All the best, Lila.
Luli
(Queen of Snakes from BBC)